Crompton and Royton Golf Club – Captains’Day

This was my first Society game since the event at Whitefield back on 4th June. Three months is a long time out, and I’d almost forgotten how good these monthly events are. I’ll try not to be so lax this year.

Firstly, thanks Steve (Clarke) for giving myself and new Captain Les a lift to the venue on the day. Arriving in plenty of time, allowed for a relaxed pre Texas scramble chat over the morning bacon butty and coffee. A whole new experience for me and for Les too, I’m sure.

So we had the scramble and my team didn’t win.

Moving swiftly on,

The main event followed a fairly hefty turkey dinner accompanied by a few early beers for some of you.

I was part of a middle order 4 ball comprising Barry, Colin and Lee. I shared a buggy with Barry. More free transport for me, and he did most of the driving, so thanks to you also Barry.

The weather was kind to us for once and the course was in really good condition. It was all set up for some high scoring and I was expecting 40 plus points would be needed to win.

I won’t burden you all with any particular incident or detail.

Let me just say, 4 to 5 hours of Society golf ensued. I’m never disappointed or surprised by anything that I see or hear when we do golf. This was no exception. Lots of low handicap banter (both on and off the course) and a good measure of high handicap golf on show as usual.

I say never surprised, but I really never thought I’d win a monthly event again, so I’m made up to win Captains Day. That said I only held the trophy for Les’s photo shot of myself being awarded the trophy from our outgoing Captain Josh, before Barry took it back, threw it into a plazzy bag, scrurried out to Micky B’s awaiting car and sped off home. It was like witnessing a heist. Oh well, my moment in the spotlight was good while it lasted!

Big thanks to Josh for being a great captain this last year. Good luck to Les our new captain for the year ahead. Thanks also to Steve C, Barry, Micky B, Andy D and their fellow cat herders for all the planning and organising they do throughout the year.

Finally, Can I just give mention to Phil Woods who sadly left us this year. A complete one off of a fella who had a unique outlook of the world around him. I for one will miss him for his razor sharp wit, lethal put downs, scornful facial expressions, but genuine honesty, warmth and good heartedness.

All the best Phil

 

As for the rest of you. See you next month at Lancaster.

John A.

Thanks and congrats to our winner, John Aylward

For full schedule see; Captains’ Day – Crompton and Royton Golf Club

Long Drive – Simon Davies

NP – Andy Davies

NP2 -Dave Hadden

2’s – Andy Davies

For current League and Helix standings see Current Season.

See you all next month

Hawkstone Park Golf Club – Clarke Cup

After struggling to get the numbers for this years Ryder Cup, the event reminded everyone of what we could be missing if that proves to be the case. 

First of all a huge shout out to Keith Dreaves who made the 19 hour trip from Scotland to make up the numbers, top man. Only downside is he took 2/2 points for team Europe, bastard.
 
Day 1 was a lively event, el Franco was on fire and even though Dave Hadden had 100% stat for wrong fairways in play, he managed to up and down the 18th after telling Si to piss off to complete a Davies & Frank “3up with 3 to play” turn around to half the match. We were gutted.
Computer game Nelson was up to his usual Ryder Cup tricks and Bower decided to throw in a 42 point stableford performance on day 1 when stableford points didn’t count. After day 1, team Europe were up 2.5 vs 1.5; an incredible feat for team US given 14 people turned up wearing blue on day 1. 
 
The final day was the singles, shout out to Evan who scored 20 on the back 9 and turned around a 4 down deficit to Josh, Andy Davies who edged out Bower on the final putt of the last hole, super Les for thinking day 2 was the day 1 format until hole 12, the 20 man punch up in the restaurant on night 1, the weather for being ok after a dreadful forecast, and sorry dad, but a 7 hole blob finish for big Col Davies. He’ll be back! 
 
To finish, my favourite moment of the trip was on the back 9 seeing the beautiful rocks in the distance 40 metres high, aka the Hawkstone follies, I noticed some movement at the top of the follies and a person coming into view, my first thought genuinely was “is that Dave Hadden” after his tee shot on the tenth.
 
Well done to team Europe who won 7.5 – 4.5
 
Splendid trip and thanks to Clarkey for organising.

Thanks and congrats to our winner, Steve Davies

For full schedule see; Hawkstone Park Golf Club

Long Drive – Evan Bale

NP – Mark Murray

NP2 -Lee Hardy

2’s – Andy Davies

For current League and Helix standings see Current Season.

See you all next month

Llanymynech Golf Club

All hail the intrepid 16 who made it to God’s own country.  

 What a roller coaster of a course; the 15th must be golf’s version of Oblivion at Alton Towers. Hitting the fairway was one thing, keeping it there on some of the slopes was something else. On top of all that, the mild gale that persisted all day made the course ‘challenging’ to say the least. 

 Early warning was provided on the first with many being confused about which green we were aiming for. Safe to say some would have been better of aiming for the wrong one. Hitting a 10mm target from 150yds seems a tall order but Mr Bower managed it when he hit the telephone wire going across the second; this was followed by another ‘Frank’ moment on what I thought was the third. And so it continued, every hole served up a list of surprises with blind shots, cliff edge drops and crippling rough. It didn’t help that on one hole the wind was so strong it blew the flag out and we had to guess where we were heading. 

 At least we stayed dry and we only managed to hit one building the whole day. Thanks to Colin, Andy and Mike for their company on what I think everybody would agree was a memorable day. 

Thanks and congrats to our winner, Evan Bale

For full schedule see; Llanymynech

Long Drive – Josh Hadden

NP – Evan Bale

NP2 -Matt Naylor

2’s – Si Davies

For current League and Helix standings see Current Season.

See you all on the 12th of August at Hawkstone Park

Society Championship – el Rompido

First of all‚ a huge ‘muchas gracias’ on behalf of all of us to Steve, Barry and our captain for organising another great trip, with all the hassle of booking, chasing, nagging, chivvying etc that goes with it – thanks guys.

And how impressive was Clarkey‘s pre-championship ‘runners and riders’ assessment? – a regular column on the Racing Post awaits.

A second visit to El Rompido for FFGS and it didn’t disappoint – 2 varied and challenging courses, great practice facilities, unlimited drink from 5pm-midnight, good food – perhaps the only downside compared with 2014 was the distinct lack of karaoke – no ‘Yellow Ribbon’, no ‘Bat out of Hell’….. did I say ‘downside’??

So, 21 golfers arriving with hopes, dreams, ambitions, expectations, aspirations. From a personal point of view, given my injury track record in this event, and a dodgy shoulder (cue violins) my only ambition was to actually complete 54 holes.

Memories are blurred already for some reason, but some ‘highlights’ include:
* good to see the Brother Dreaves (the Bee Dreaves) re-united for the occasion, resplendent in matching headgear, presumably thoughts of “You Win Again” uppermost;
* carnage on Hole 5 on Day1, as Dave Whitaker (from deep in the trees hard to believe I know) felled Mike Bower (seeking safety in the middle of the fairway), a nasty bruise on the knee resulting, giving rise to accusations that Dave had money on somebody else;
* the resulting ‘trial’ in the bar that night under the direction of ‘Judge’ John Aylward (although tbh John seemed to struggle with the boundary between Judge and Prosecution Counsel). Things turned nasty as claim was met with counter claim, Dave arguing that Mike had diverted his ball away from the green. The sharks circled, scenting a share of a payout. In the end an out-of-court settlement was reached, though Dave seemed unimpressed with his Defence Counsel’s principal line of reasoning – that if he’d deliberately aimed at someone he couldn’t possibly have hit them;
* Mike wasn’t the only one to sustain an injury that day, Les taking a nasty blow on the wrist on the Practice Chipping Green (yep);
* Keith Dreaves proved to be the undisputed Buggy-Meister of the trip: on his way to the first tee on Day 2 Keith swerved to avoid a lizard (a lizard ffs), found himself hurtling towards some rocks, decided he could take the rocks, couldn’t, and ended up with the buggy jammed on said rocks, freed only thanks to the strength and willingness of Dan Witterick. Not so much “You Win Again”, closer to “Tragedy”;
* Les’s ‘party-piece’ demonstration of unmatched strength – lifting a wine bottle using only the tips of his thumbs.

Oh yeah, there was a golf championship too. A low-scoring affair which obviously can only be attributed to the toughness of the courses, and the windy conditions.

Mike Bower’s Day1 win with 29 points had the society statisticians burrowing through the archives – Col won at Esker Hills 2003 with 28 – did Dave Watson once win with a 27??

Still, a low-scoring Day1 meant that Day2 arrived with no-one out of the running.

Lee complained that he’d been forced to drink with the captain from 5pm onwards after the first round, then proceeded to win the second day with a score of 32 – go figure. So going into the final day, Lee led by 2 from some rank outsider who’d surely fall away before long, closely followed by Mike B and Josh, with Dan lurking dangerously in 5th.

Fair to say that the leading group played some decent golf for the first 12-13 holes, and then didn’t. Josh drained a 30-foot putt for birdie at the 3rd, Lee peppered the Par-3s with his usual pinpoint accuracy. As the round progressed it became clear that Mike had more to deal with than a round of golf – an unscheduled visit to the clubhouse after the 9th, followed by a return visit after the 11th were clear signs that all was not well. A dodgy crayfish the night before perhaps? Or a delayed reaction to being hit on the first day? Who knows. A visit to the reeds on the 15th, when his ball was clearly visible on the fairway, and Mike reluctantly retired from the fray, though tbf he did rejoin us on the 18th (by which time not many more points had been scored!!).

Meanwhile…as the leading 2 groups congregated on the 16th tee, a quick totting up had yours truly and Dan (who would go on to win the last day with 31 points) tied for the lead, one point ahead of Lee. Come the 18th, and it all came down to a nervy 8-foot putt for the victory. Nobody more surprised than me when it dropped in.

I have no explanation, though I can say with some certainty that the single-room option worked better for me than the ‘sleep in the bath’ experience from the previous year.

Congrats to all the prizewinners, congrats (but some commiserations too) to Lee and Dan, and congrats to Mark who snuck into 4th. And to Mark and Lee for winning the pairs competition (after a stewards inquiry – they only won it by 9 points tbf).

During 3 very enjoyable rounds I was witness to some awesome hitting by Dan, Josh and Lee – always a joy to watch you guys in action.

In the aftermath, reporters were keen to ask Mike Kirkland how much he felt he’d benefited from arriving 2 days early to practise, but as yet he’s been unavailable for comment.

Financially I owe a debt of gratitude to Mike for deciding to change his bet at the last minute from me to himself. A pint awaits at S&A Mike as a token of my appreciation.

And while nobody predicted the winner, some other predictions did come true eg Mark shanking it off the first tee.

Special thanks also to Col for being drawn with me in the pairs, thus leaving me free to concentrate on my own game.

I know it would be unkind to describe my good fortune at the start of the final round and would only rub salt in to some wounds. So here goes. 1st Tee – wild hook into the middle of the lake; take a drop tee-side; skull it into the lake, then watch in disbelief as it skims 50 yards across the water, up the bank, and into the middle of the fairway. Surely the longest ‘Barnes Wallis’ since records began.

And it definitely wouldn’t be right to mention the 3-foot putt I sank with my 3-wood on Day1, having left my putter on the previous hole.

Must say we did miss our entertainer-in-chief from last year, though obviously there were no bus journeys this time – looking at the itinerary for next year there should be ample opportunity to make up for this.

So it only remains to say ‘Salud y hasta la vista!!’

Thanks and congrats to our winner, Steve Waddelove

For full schedule see; Society Championship – el Rompido

Long Drive – Dan Witterick, Josh Hadden, Paul Foode

NP – Josh Hadden, Steve Waddelove, Mark Campbell, Lee Hardy

NP2 – Dan Witterick, Lee Hardy

2’s – Lee Hardy

For current League and Helix standings see Current Season.

See you all in June at Whitefield Golf Club

Wigan Golf Club

Over three years since I last had to do one of these, my lonely Formby Ladies trophy will finally be getting a new mate come the next awards night.

The day could only get better after spilling coffee all down myself in the car on the drive up. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case after a snap hook on the first that nearly took out the group in front, stood on the second tee. After a quick pep talk from Dave H as I set off, confidence was restored.

A bogey, par, bogey helped get things back on track, before a three putt at the par 4 5th that I thought had dashed any hopes of winning. Light showers was the forecast for the day, it looked like we were going to get lucky but the heavens then opened forcing our group to scramble round looking for the waterproofs. Not my dad however, he stuck two fingers up to the rain and thought he didn’t need his umbrella and left it on the tee box for the group behind us to deal with. Brave or stupid? Will leave that up to you guys to decide.

A back nine score of 21 gave me a total of 36 and a joint club house lead with the fresh faced Dan Foode. A commendable score considering he was on the pints at 9am the previous day. With that, a quick congratulations to Matt Naylor on his wedding on Saturday. Limiting the competition really helped me in getting the win here, and for that I thank him!! A thank you as well to everyone who protected their handicap before The Society Championship next week and allowed me the win. Without you guys, I couldn’t have done this!

Good luck to everyone in Spain! I’ll see you in June at Whitefield.

Thanks and congrats to our winner, Martyn Wilson

For full schedule see; Wigan Golf Club

Long Drive – Andy Davies

NP – Mark Campbell

NP2 – Mike Bower

2’s – Mike Bower

For current League and Helix standings see Current Season.

See you all in Spain for the society chmapionship!

Knott End Golf Club

A piece I didn’t expect to ever have to write, especially not this month – given recent chronic form (ask my S&A colleagues) and a dodgy shoulder, my expectations were firmly rooted at the wooden spoon/‘retired hurt’ end of the spectrum!

I’d never played Knott End GC before, thought it was an impressive setting, with fine views over the Fylde Estuary. Perhaps knott surprisingly 😀 it was pretty wet after all the recent rain but on the day we were blessed with decent weather that just got better, culminating in glorious afternoon sunshine on the patio.

Shame about the ‘play from the rough’ rule, though I guess this meant that many, like me, were playing in our natural habitat.

Out in the first group with Josh, Lee and John A, I have to say that the best golf in the group was undoubtedly played by the others – shot of the day a stunning approach by Lee to the 17th leaving him with a 2-foot birdie putt, duly sunk; some delightful chips from Josh that went tantalisingly close; and some impressive flop shots from John.

So I put my win down to a combination of:
– A girlie handicap (I’ll say it before anyone else does);
– more than my share of good fortune, from an inauspicious first tee shot which came perilously close to disappearing into trees so far to the right most of you probably didn’t even notice they were there, to a final tee shot which had me apologising to two unsuspecting club members for sharing the first green with them;
– perhaps most importantly to the blatant pre-Spain handicap protection that was going on, judging by the number of thirty-something scores which mysteriously tailed off on the back 9.

So, as I face the daunting prospect of life with a 24 handicap, I guess this means ‘adios’ to any chance I had of winning in Spain (quiet at the back). But I’ll take it. Steve

Thanks and congrats to our winner, Steve Waddelove

For full schedule see; Knott End Golf Club

Long Drive – Dave Hadden

NP – Simon Davies

NP2 – 

2’s –  Matt Naylor

For current League and Helix standings see Current Season.

See you all on the 23rd of April at Wigan Golf Club

Formby Ladies Golf Club

Having just scored 39 points the previous day at FGC, with a couple of blobs to boot, I was feeling fairly confident that I could post a good score, but Formby Ladies can prove a tricky course so it was in the hands of the golf gods. I knew I was in a group with crack golfers but, little did I know that “crack” would turn out to be the wrong word, for a couple of them anyway! After smashing a drive down the first fairway, along with Les “what hole are we on?” Hurst, I looked across to the 18th fairway to see “Dave “10 pints is not enough” Whitaker and Frank “where did that go?” McGlynn, deliberating what club to use to get across all that heather and the bunker to the green. I knew this was going to be a great round!

For the next few holes, we were wading through lots of heather, looking for balls marked with either MF, PF or W4 ( one for Dave Hadden! ), to no avail most of the time. I was playing well, until the 8th, when, standing on the tee, having just made par on the 7th, a strange feeling came over me. I swung at the ball and duffed it 20 yrds into the heather in front. I managed to scramble 2 points but wondered what happened. I later learnt that Mr Bower, in the group behind, had just said to Nello “Steve looks like he is really playing well” just as I swung the club! The curse strikes!!

I was back on track for the rest of the round and Les played some good golf, although he needs lessons on how to fill in a card and the other two, well who knows. I was shocked that I had scored 49 points and thoroughly deserve the massive cut I have received. So, although I won’t win now for another 4 years I am looking forward to playing off 16 and winning in Spain, of course!

Thanks and congrats to our winner, Steve Clarke

For full schedule see; Formby Ladies Golf Club

Long Drive – Dan Witterick

NP – Andy Davies

NP2 – Dave Hadden

2’s –  Dave Hadden, Matt Naylor, Paul Foode

For current League and Helix standings see Current Season.

See you all on the 5th of March at Wigan Golf Club

Berrington Hall Golf Club

A cracking turnout for our first event of 2023 on a course that was likely to be moist underfoot and a mixed weather forecast. Well we got the underfoot conditions right, but the rain that arrived as we stood on the 1st tee was not supposed to appear til later.

I spotted Col taking every opportunity to get in some last minute swing practice, albeit on an upslope in the rough and the edge of the lake on the tee ! “Just keeping it real” he announced. Conditions did not appear to be conducive to good scoring (what do I know!) but thankfully the rain did stop eventually.

I had a great trio with me navigating the driest routes from tee to green and vice versa, a sort of ‘FFGS through the ages”, if you will in Zach, Stevie D and Phil D and I thank them for their company and bants. Blobbing the first wasn’t ideal, but as we walked off the green I didn’t feel quite so bad when it became apparent Phil was our only point scorer with a measly 1!!

My driver behaved itself and that was the key really, who would have thought playing from the correct fairway would lead to better scoring! I was chatting with Martyn afterwards and he said he told Josh I might have been playing ok as he hadn’t heard “FORE RIGHT”! all day!! Phil D has promised a visit to Specsavers is on the cards as after a nice drive to corner of dog leg on 14, he pulled 3 wood for his second shot, not realising he only had a 40 yard chip left to the temp green!! Fortunately Zach told him just in time.

Really chuffed to have finally managed to win when I have a score in the 40’s, having somehow lost with 43&44 in the past (Zach and Andy!) and especially nice to hear such lovely words from our captain when announcing such!!

Thanks, as always to Steve for organising. Big shout outs to Col and Steve Doran for their great scores. Barry “I am top of the League, I say I am top of the League, Dreaves and well played to my other 40 points scorers in Andy, Mike, Martyn and Nello, I share your pain chaps ( At least you weren’t announced as the winner and then told straight away you weren’t, thanks John A)!!

See you all in Feb at Formby Ladies where I am sure the “FORE RIGHT”! will be plentiful again.

Thanks and congrats to our winner, Dave Hadden

For full schedule see; Berrington Golf Club

Long Drive – Zach Jones

NP – John Nelson

NP2 – Lee Hardy

2’s –  Josh Hadden, John Nelson x2, Steve Waddelove, Mike Bower

For current League and Helix standings see Current Season.

See you all on the 5th of Feb at Formby Ladies