At Berrington Hall one rainy day,

The Golf Club vowed they would all play,

Or so they claimed with noble cheer

Until the clouds drew rather near,

For when the skies began to roar,

Mysterious excuses flew out the door.

“My knee!” said one. “My back!” said two.

“My wife insists I paint the loo!”

Another whispered, “Rain? Oh dear

I suddenly… can’t find my gear.”

So they scurried off one by one

Seeking refuge, toast, and fun,

While 16 undaunted, brave and keen,

Marched to battle with the real golfers’ team.

Through mighty puddles we trudged with pride,

Rain and wind at either side.

And somewhere mid the stormy slog,

I realised—I’d cut through the fog!

My shots were sharp, my game sublime,

A masterpiece in driving time.

But fate, that trickster, loves a twist,

On the final hole, catastrophe kissed.

My scorecard vanished—gone! Kaput!

(Quite possibly drowned under somebody’s foot.)

I froze in shock, despair on cue…

Had I just binned a winning 39 too?

Enter Frank—heroic, calm,

The patron saint of golfing qualm.

“Don’t panic,” he said with a gentleman’s grin,

“I’ve got a copy you’re still set to win.

And so the Captain called in the court,

A full inquest of golfing sort.

Some scores were good, some scores were great,

Debate ran long about my fate.

But justice triumphed, fair and fine,

Steve like a gent put the prize money back my hand,

Happy Christmas lads with lots of cheers I’ll be telling this story for years and years

Thanks and congrats to our winner, Les Hurst

Well it was a wonderful day at Pleasington (Hmm)

The bacon butties were very nice (always a good start)… and then there was the weather…. Torrential rain all day

What more could you ask for apart from the good company of Colin, Les and Mark.

After an iffy start on the front 9 it all came good on the back 9, in both my score and the Matchplay against Mark that went down to the wire.  Finding the thirteenth tee proved a bit of a nightmare but we eventually found it
half way down the fairway.

One of the highlights of the day was Colin doing his best Dancing on Ice impression chasing his trolley down the hill (unsuccessfully).

I thought the course held up quite well considering the rain we had.

Then onto the main highlight me winning and my mum and sister being there to see my maiden monthly victory.

Thanks and congrats to our winner, Barry Dreaves

New season, new captain, and most importantly a new vice captain. We now know that Paul Foode will take the helm in 2026, apparently a very popular vote so I can only imagine he must have dug deep into his pockets for the campaign. Dave Hadden slipped into his captaincy by missing the customary first tee, I knew it was going to go down hill after Lee’s tenure, but not so swiftly (miss you already Lee).

As for the golf, we had great turn out for October with 24 members on the day. Driving up from South Manchester I could see it was going to be a challenging start with thick fog for most of the journey. I tested this on the first hole as I lost my ball flight at about 200yds and it was a bit of guessing game as to where it ended up, it was also the time of year where leaf balls started to come into play. At the allotted 3 mins I was ready to call it, only for John to save the day and find it sitting under a leaf. As the round progressed I couldn’t tell if John was being complimentary or in some kind of self deprivation spiral, as he claimed I’d given him “a whole new perspective on golf”. He seemed disappointed when I missed a 4ft birdie putt quickly claiming I’d “pushed it”, and with Derek asking “what I’d done wrong” when I sliced a drive into the woods, I felt under serious scrutiny. Comments took on board, I cracked on and didn’t even think about winning. Aside from the golf, it’s always a pleasure to play with John, Frank and Derek, thanks for the good company.

I thought the course was in a great condition, especially the greens which were fast and had some interest, particularly given the recent wet weather. No better example of this was Colin’s putt on the last hole, a 25 foot swinger from the right slotted for 2 points to avoid the spoon, what dreams are made of.

After the round the Captain commenced the first of this years ceremonial presentations which was largely based on the popular 90’s TV quiz, play your cards right. With three members losing their prize hole funds within seconds, this is bound be a popular feature for the rest of the year.

There was also the small matter of the matchplay final between two our most unpopular members in Dan Foode and Josh Hadden. With a fine show of sportmanship on the last hole, excusing his partner from playing the wrong ball (mainly because he had a shot in hand and his opponent was directly behind a tree), the winner, 1Up was Josh Hadden, congrats. Two years running so a big target on your back for 2026.

After a successful Ryder Cup weekend away it was back to normal season and the last one for our illustrious captain. After the announcement of the teams and the rules for the 74th time some were still confused. Thank god Les knew the rules… I was fortunate to be in a team with the Captain boys and Kev we thought we were in with a chance. And how wrong we were. After double bogeying a par 5 we knew it wouldn’t be our day.

We had some scran of soup and butties we were ready for the main event… then the rain came. After Foodey was complaining of a sore back and moaning he was out last I couldn’t wait to get started. The first tees were hit and we found we were waiting for 2 of the Davies brothers to arrive only to find out they were 30 minutes away and Si was teeing off next. So the groups were changed to accommodate the complaining Foode for him go out next only for him to now complain he was going out next…

My group consisted of Andy H, Dave W and Dave ‘4 tops’ H. A great group. My water resistance coat decided to be a water absorbing coat so I thought it would be a long day. But I actually played well managed to get the points needed and come in with 40 points to seal victory and a cracking round with the lads especially Dave topping every shot possible. Rossendale was a lovely course that would be really nice to play again

A final thanks to our Captain Lee for a brilliant reign and now it’s onto Dave to try and match it. Nevermind Dav

See you all at Clitheroe!

Zach

….

As the mob made their way across the Mersey in torrential rains and blowing winds, it could have only been for an FFGS event at Leasowe, giving flashbacks of a few years back when the precious Hadden’s had to walk in after 5 holes. As we tucked in to our bacon butties, I confidently declared to Captain and Vice Captain that I was going to win today, after a few good rounds in the weeks before. Safe to say that confidence had disappeared by the time I got to the first tee after the stick I got in the clubhouse, but a well struck 4 iron down the first helped to regain that.

I thought I had been playing well on the front 9 as the pars seemed to keep coming. I knew I had been playing well when during my shot in to the green on the 6th I declared to Rob that Dave Hadden who was waiting to the side of the 7th tee was my line. An almost too sweetly struck 8 iron sailed the green, pitching yards in front of Dave and causing him to dive sideways. I was the quickest I’ve seen Dave move since he nearly didn’t get his buggy at Lykkia in Turkey.

I had top company in the group with Frank, Rob and Les. I thought all had been playing well. Frank did manage the to find the same bush on 3 occasions when playing two different holes, but definitely did not deserve the spoon. Thanks for a good afternoon lads!

On a final note, I was keen to call for a stewards inquiry on Mr David Hadden, after comparing scores after 9 holes and hearing I was on a decent score, suggestions were made that he would throw his round to keep the handicap for the Ryder Cup event. However, after speaking to his playing partners, it was made clear that in no way did he have any control over his ball on the back 9 to be able to purposely throw his round!

See you all at the Ryder Cup!

As I warmed up on the practice green, I shanked one into a bush, never to be seen again. As I was searching in this bush I ended up finding a different ball. I chuckled to myself, that someone else out there must be as useless at chipping as I was. In some weird way, it made me feel a little better. As I stepped up to the first with my trusted new friend, the fairway had never looked bigger. I topped one about 40 yards much to the avail of the morons behind me. The leader of the pack?….. Who else but Paul (wooden spoon) Foode. I wiped my brow and gathered myself, only to top it 40 yards again. The third? Spooned onto the wrong fairway. I had already accepted I had made a mistake coming to golf and knew I had to endure watching Andy play incredible for 4 more hours (my worse pastime). Out of nowhere on the second I putted one in from about 50 feet. If it hadn’t of hit the pin, it was 20 ft past. This sort of luck carried on all day. Perfect lies in the rough, bouncing over ditches, thinning the ball to 10 feet from the pin. I thought to myself, is this what its like to be Josh Hadden?…whatever it was it felt incredible, I could do no wrong, you could have put a blindfold on me and I would make par somehow. On the last hole as I won nearest to pin, I looked down into the cup and saw my old friend from the practice green bush smiling up at me. I reminisced at the incredible journey we had been on.

In other news Paul (wooden spoon) Foode, can only look inward. The man he tormented would have beaten him after 8 holes. A period of self reflection needed.

Cheers to Rob, Steve and even Andy for a refreshing afternoon