Mosquitoes, Monkfish Curry & 2 Plates… and a 50ft Putt
Despite looking forward to our annual golf soiree as much as usual, my excitement was being tempered slightly by Foodie’s (aka Michael Fish) regular doom-and-gloom weather forecast updates. It became obvious during the week that he was desperate for rain, just so he could say “told you so” — and when it did rain, he looked extremely smug whilst saying so. (Wa-ker)
Due to my distinct lack of social skills, I decided to hire a car for the trip rather than endure the six-hour airport transfer each way. More importantly, it meant I could smoke my rollies to my heart’s content. I had great intentions of using the car to explore the local area, having never been to Almeria before. However, I parked it on Tuesday afternoon and it didn’t move again until we left on Saturday morning. Those stolen rollies ended up being very expensive.
I thought the hotel was outstanding and the rooms were awesome, despite it taking three minutes to walk from the door to the balcony. Jesus, they were big. I also know Stevie Davies appreciated being directly above the gym and waking up to the drill-sergeant bootcamp every morning.
As we gathered on the first evening, it quickly became apparent there may be some accent and language barriers between certain members of our group and the local staff. Everyone will already know this — primarily because he told everyone individually, including probably people not even with our group — but on ordering three Estrella beers on his first visit to the bar, Col was presented with three ashtrays. He blamed the barman!
I think everyone had a good night, particularly Josh, who (unlike me) got to experience some of the local culture by taking an hour and a half to get back to the hotel from the marina — a five-minute walk away. Apparently, he vaguely remembers views of the course the rest of us never got to see.
Then came some golf.
I had a great first day with the Captain, Si and Josh, with the latter two playing some outstanding golf and coming in with 38 and 39 points respectively. Yet again proving that whatever escapades the younger Hadden gets up to the night before, he can play. Dave and I played… intermittently.
Despite not seeing it, we heard Kev had hit his longest drive of the year on the first hole. Sadly, it ended up behind him — and everyone else. Not sure whether that deserves a “well done” or a “hard luck”, Kev.
It was after the round that the mosquito issue became apparent. Looking around was like watching a gathering of nervous chickens searching for a worm — hands reaching parts of the body some of us had forgotten existed. At one point, Les showed us his back and it looked like a map of the moon. Ouch. Must be all that sweat blood, Les 😊
Anyway, enough about the mozzies. We were in their home. Back to the golf. Day two paired me with my buggy buddy Stevie D(avies), Evan and Dezzer. We had a cracking day and Stevie played brilliantly — genuinely the best I’ve seen him play — and deservedly won the day with a fantastic 39 points. Not ideal for the rest of us chasing him in the league, though. At no point during the round did we come close to purposely driving the buggy into a lake, which was unusual for us abroad.
That evening, the Captain declared he required monkfish curry, and some of us obediently followed him to a quaint little marina spot where he assured us his culinary demands would be met. We ordered drinks and asked for the menu. That’s when the problems started. The menu was QR code only — entirely in Spanish — and the waiter, bless him, spoke no English whatsoever. Things became complicated quickly. (I know… how dare a Spanish restaurant, in a Spanish town, have a Spanish menu and Spanish-speaking staff. Just rude.) I spent a good ten minutes trying to explain that I wanted monkfish curry. Eventually, after much effort from both sides, the waiter finally understood me. There was a brief moment of mutual jubilation before his face suddenly dropped and I think he said: “No monkfish.” I announced this to the group, and it was at this point that Frankie Mc proceeded to have what sounded like (to me at least) a completely fluent Spanish conversation with the waiter. Afterwards, Frank informed us: “They’ve got no fish”. Half an hour of my life I’m never getting back.
So we left in search of the mythical Stumble Inn. A couple of minutes after arriving, I noticed the Captain was no longer with us. I assumed he was finishing a drink or perhaps visiting the ablutions. However, he reappeared shortly afterwards proudly carrying two ceramic plates… with fish on them. He claims he had “purchased” them for €10 each from the previous no-fish restaurant — a claim he was unable (and still remains unable) to provide any evidence for whatsoever. I had a chicken tikka masala, which I’m assuming tasted nothing like monkfish curry.
Back to the golf. Last day. Stevie, Josh, Bower and me in the last group. To win, I needed a birdie on the 18th and somebody else had to blob it. That’s what happened, including a 50ft putt, So I won.
Another fantastic trip with top top blokes. Cheers guys. Looking forward to Lagos ’27.
Thanks and congrats to our winner, Lee Hardy
For full schedule see; Society Championship, Almerimar
Long Drive – Martyn Wilson, Josh Hadden, Si Davies
NP – Dave Hadden, Mike Bower, Martyn Wilson
NP2 – Andy Davies, Evan Bale x2
2’s – Josh Hadden x3, Andy Davies, Mark Campbell
For current League and Helix standings see Current Season.
See you all at the next event
FORMBY AND FRESHFIELD GOLF SOCIETY 