Penwortham Golf Club

As I warmed up on the practice green, I shanked one into a bush, never to be seen again. As I was searching in this bush I ended up finding a different ball. I chuckled to myself, that someone else out there must be as useless at chipping as I was. In some weird way, it made me feel a little better. As I stepped up to the first with my trusted new friend, the fairway had never looked bigger. I topped one about 40 yards much to the avail of the morons behind me. The leader of the pack?….. Who else but Paul (wooden spoon) Foode. I wiped my brow and gathered myself, only to top it 40 yards again. The third? Spooned onto the wrong fairway. I had already accepted I had made a mistake coming to golf and knew I had to endure watching Andy play incredible for 4 more hours (my worse pastime). Out of nowhere on the second I putted one in from about 50 feet. If it hadn’t of hit the pin, it was 20 ft past. This sort of luck carried on all day. Perfect lies in the rough, bouncing over ditches, thinning the ball to 10 feet from the pin. I thought to myself, is this what its like to be Josh Hadden?…whatever it was it felt incredible, I could do no wrong, you could have put a blindfold on me and I would make par somehow. On the last hole as I won nearest to pin, I looked down into the cup and saw my old friend from the practice green bush smiling up at me. I reminisced at the incredible journey we had been on.

In other news Paul (wooden spoon) Foode, can only look inward. The man he tormented would have beaten him after 8 holes. A period of self reflection needed.

Cheers to Rob, Steve and even Andy for a refreshing afternoon